Christian Comedian, Jeff Allen

My wife and I are a praying couple, or least we try to pray. Am I the only one who finds it difficult to pray with their spouse after an argument?  In reality, this is when you should be on your knees praying. I unfortunately find myself on my knees looking for the car keys that my lovely wife whipped at my cranium. As a believer in God, and a believer in the power of prayer, I continually ask myself why I don’t do it more often – and certainly in times of “discomfort.” Isn’t this when we should talk to our Savior?

I mention this because it just dawned on me that as my children grow older, we have more days behind us with them than we have in front of us. In other words, they are almost “growed” up and out of our house. All we have left is to pray for them. They’re never around for us to talk to.

Our oldest son has an excuse; he paid his dues in the Army and is relatively recently back from Iraq. Our youngest son, though technically he still lives with us, for all intents and purposes, moved out a year ago.

This is a typical day. He emerges from his room and, on the way to the shower, we say “Good Morning.” No reply. Then he disappears into the bathroom. He then comes out of the bathroom and we ask, “Are you working a double today?”

“Yeah.” Then he disappears into his room.

A few more minutes go by and he re-emerges from the room, goes into the kitchen, grabs some grub and starts to walk out. Then I ask, “Are you going to be home for dinner?”

“Probably not.”

He then walks out. He’s a good kid.  Just not very chatty.

This goes on everyday. EVERYDAY. One morning I told my wife, “We gave birth to a groundhog.”

I ask him to do things with me, like go to the movies, and he is always busy with his new girlfriend. Imagine that!  No time for Dad, but all the time in the world for a girl.

I remember a time when girls were icky to him. My wife remembers a time when he used to say, “When I get big, I am going to marry you Mommy.”
I heard Harry Chapin’s tune “Cat’s in the Cradle” the other day, and had to pull the car over. I couldn’t drive thru the tears and convulsions. I think they should warn the listeners before they unleash that kind of guilt and shame on unsuspecting parents driving along. It wouldn’t take but a few seconds – they warn parents all the time when they are going to say something inappropriate for children.

How hard would it be to warn us that “Cat’s in the Cradle” is coming on?

Hey Dad, soon to be empty nester, yeah you, the one who traveled their whole lives, the one living with the groundhog who can’t come out long enough to play with you, just wanted to let you know, Harry Chapin is coming up.

Of course, knowing me the way I know me, I wouldn’t turn the dial; I would just sit there and punish myself.

This is a tough time for Tami and I. We continually reevaluate the job we did with our children. Soooooo many things we would do differently; so much so that on occasions Tami has suggested we have another one, just to see if we can do it guilt-free. To that I reply, “Stand behind her Satan!”
The last thing I want to do is raise another child; I told her that we’ve “earned” grandchildren.

All we have to do is now is pray that our groundhog meets someone else’s groundhog, and we let God do His handiwork.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go guilt my son into having lunch with me… if I can find my car keys.

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