Mar 14 2013

Getting Ready for Tax Time

Published by at 12:51 pm under Corporate Comedy

Well, it’s that time of year again … tax season is upon us. Even a clean comedian like me has to pay his fair share.  This year my New Year’s resolution was to get my financial matters in order.  I called my accountant, Rocco, to set up an appointment and got a very disturbing message on his answering machine, “Hi, this is Rocco.  I’ve gone to Rome to witness the selection of our new Pope. I’ve never been to a Conclave before. Leave a message. Arrivederci!”

How can Rocco be so unprofessional as to leave myself and his other clients in the lurch while he’s off gallivanting to the Holy See to watch white smoke billow out of a chimney?  Where is his devotion and loyalty to a higher authority…the IRS?  And what if his trip results in a delay of my tax refund?

I wrote him an angry email.  Here is his response:

Dear Jeff,

Thank you for your email.  I understand your concern but there’s no need to worry, I’ll be back in plenty of time to file your extension (God and His Holiness willing).  Please leave your shoebox in a waterproof garbage bag under my porch.  I have to run now – my cappuccino is getting cold.


An extension? Is he kidding me? While he is in Italy dining on pasta and pizza perhaps he didn’t take into account that filing an extension could jeopardize our family’s annual “Race for the Postmark” event.  Last year we made it to the post office window at 11:55:023: That’s 1/100th of a second off last year’s record.

Then a brilliant idea came to me and I sat down to furiously write Rocco another email:

Dear Rocco,

Thank you for your prompt response.  I was just thinking that since you are going to be at the Vatican anyway, would you mind stopping by St. Peter’s and lighting a candle in my name and saying a prayer to St. Matthew, the patron saint of taxes?

Clean comedian

Hey, it couldn’t hurt.


One response so far

One Response to “Getting Ready for Tax Time”

  1. Shellyon 01 Apr 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Too funny! “St. Matthew, the patron saint of taxes”! Thanks so much for the great tax story!

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