The first year of a child's life, it's easy to listen. They don't say a whole lot. In fact, most of what they say is so unintelligible that you're forced to hire a babbling interpreter. Babbling interpreters don't come cheap. Most of them are tied up with politicians. With baby babble, though, it's not so much a matter of what they say, as it is what you hope they say. Allow me to explain. A child delivers his gibberish and the dad will say, "That's right, Joey! ...Did you hear that, Honey? He said, 'Daddy is great!'"

Of course, mom heard something completely different. "I think he said, 'Da da, goo, mmfph, hmpturghvvf' then I believe he gave you a raspberry."

Well, she can say what she wants; I know exactly what he said. My point in all this is to tell you that listening to a one-year-old is a breeze. On the other hand, if you hung on every word a three-year-old said, your head would explode. Man, can they prattle on! If they have a thought, they feel it has to be verbalized. You hope and pray they outgrow this. Some, unfortunately, never do. Jerry Springer comes to mind. This tendency to blurt out whatever thought comes into your head can certainly cause problems later in life. Frankly, the only thing that has kept me out of jail over the years, certainly out of the hospital, is that I have learned a little restraint with my tongue. I realized at some point in my life that just because I have the thought that doesn't mean I have to share it with the world.

But three-year-olds don't know this yet. So you have to figure out creative ways to convey this to your child. And ignoring your child's prattling isn't the answer either and can cause major problems once you get out of your home. I was at a mall with my wife and our three-year-old. Trying to keep up with the latest parental technology, our three-year-old was on a leash that my wife had attached to her belt loop. That's right. My wife had actually bought one of those things. Now let me say that I actually like the idea of the leash and there is nothing wrong with it if you are just walking through the mall. The kid just kind of flops around behind you like a longboard behind a downed surfer. As long as we were in motion, everything was fine. The problems began when we stopped to have a conversation in the mall....

Hear Jeff Allen reading from his new book, "My Life as a Bystander," the moving (and sometimes even funny) chapter entitled, "Is There Paper in Heaven." Click on the link below; a web page will appear. Then click on the button next to the text "listen now" and wait a few moments.

Show specifics, contact information, and additional dates can be found on Jeff's website.