Greetings!, Whew! (wiping brow) How exciting it’s been over the last few months! Focus on the Family included our broadcast as one of their Year’s Best – and had thousands of requests for DVDs of My Heart, My Comedy.
Besides my busy touring schedule, I’ve been doing a lot of media interviews each and every week. A few were particularly great. I was on LA Talk Radio: Answers 4 the Family (click to hear it), and more recently I was interviewed by comedian Jim Breuer (formally from Saturday Night Live). When they upload that interview, we’ll post it on our website.
We’ve been selling out a lot of shows, and it’s so rewarding to play to packed houses in places like Oxford, MI; Scottsdale, AZ; Carrolton, TX; Huntsville, AL; Naperville, IL; Oconomowoc, WI; Wichita, KS; Columbus, OH and Oshkosh, WI. Thanks to all who turned out!
Over the next the couple of months you can find me in Miamisburg, OH; Denton, TX (back to the Denton Bible Church!); Springfield, OH; Powell, WY; Elkton, KY; Lima, OH and Groveport, OH. Come say hello. Everyone that mentions they read this newsletter will receive a Chevy Vega.
Last, but far from least, I’m working out a new one-man show, called I Can Laugh About it Now: An Evening with Jeff Allen. We’re really excited about this and already booking shows for Fall 2011.
Blessings to you and yours, Jeff
Camel Watering Woman In the book of Genesis, Abraham sends one of his slaves down to the well in town to find a wife for his son. He tells the son to find a “camel watering” woman, a woman doing a good day’s work, someone with a strong back and character to match. I mention this, because I married a “camel watering woman” myself.
Tami is a product of a blue collar home. She is a tinkerer – she’s always doing something around the house. In the past, she has laid tile and grout in one of our bathrooms. She has put up crown molding around our entire living room and bedrooms. She also does most of the landscaping outside. In case you are wondering, I don’t really do that kind of stuff. We will leave it at that.
The reason I mention this is because something happened a few weeks ago that kind of rattled my cage.
I was out of town for a couple of weeks and when I came home, I noticed that what was once carpet in our living room was now hardwood. So I inquired as to where that came from. Tami replied, “Home Depot. I took a class and laid it myself. Isn’t it pretty?”
That was not what I was looking for, so I rephrased the question, “What happened to the rug?”
“Oh,” she began a little slower this time. “It’s gone.”
“I can see that. Where did it go?”
“I threw it out. I was sick of looking at it.”
Understand, this is the first I have heard of this, so I asked another question. “When did this occur?”
“What do you mean?”
“I am curious, was it a week ago, a month ago, a year ago....”
“Why does that matter?” she asked.
“I just wanted to have an idea about how long I have left if you ever get sick of looking at me.”
We have been married for 24 years, which is about four times longer than that rug lasted before it met its demise.
I guess it bothers me because I am a lot like that rug, worn out and kind of shaggy, a little loose in the middle and there are a couple of bald spots on me as well. But I was comfortable with the rug and, up until this happened, I was comfortable with the way I looked.
Not any more. Now it’s to the gym. I’m going to tone up the flab, do a bunch of cardio, work on a six pack.... Aahhhh, who am I kidding? Fact is, while I married a “camel watering woman,” I’m more of a “caramel eating man.” So it’s off to Maggie Moo’s for a couple of humps of Caramoo Chunks in a waffle cone.
Jeff on ADHD on YouTube
This is one of the Jeff's most popular bits on ADHD, even though he doesn't remember ever doing it.
Here's where I'll be performing publicly over the next few months. If you're coming, be sure to say hello. If you're sending a friend from another area, be sure to have them introduce themselves.
