You told me if you go first, because we've had these at our age, we have these discussions and who goes first and what the rules are, everyone has Pillow Talk.
Kiss, kiss, if you die first, kiss, kiss, the rules are, I have to take your ashes and put them in the backseat on every date that I have.
And I realized, no, not in the backseat. They've got to be in the front.
Well, I've realized, well, I'm going to put you in the back.
I'm not sitting in the back. Come
up front. I don't know I'm going to I can't do that, but I'm being straight up in public. I'm not gonna lie.
I could be in the center console.
I can do
like there's the full bench seats anymore. It's always bucket seats. Be in the center console.
Gay me a podcast. This is Jeff Allen. Welcome to my podcast. Hey everybody. This is Jeff Allen, the new year. That's right, New year, new shows, new guests, and this is who gave Jeff Allen a podcast. We're still looking for the person that gave me this thing. There's 6 billion of you, and we will find you. We will our sponsor today, as always, is Nordic wave, the cold plunge company.
And again, I can tell you again, this is all anecdotal. The inflammation that I have from working out and the pain from that is certainly diminished by cold plunging I try to do it at least four or five times a week, four to six minutes again, consult your doctor. I am not a doctor. If you're taking medical, medical advice from a comedian, you need a head doctor so. But you can go to Nordic, wave their website and type in Jeff 150 save $150 and we'll talk more about that with our guests. Today. We have a wonderful guest today. We've been waiting for this for a long time to get her in the studio. The cup of butter herself. Tammy is is here and welcome. This is the first, isn't it? Yeah, interviewed my wife. So this is this will be good. And I have no idea. We did not rehearse any of this.
Did we? No, I did not tell you what the questions were. No clue what the questions are, right? So by the way, if you're seeing this, it was approved by Tammy, because, believe me, she will look at the finished product and take out everything. This may be a four minute interview. I know from pictures. When people take pictures of us, you snatch their phone out of their hands, and you immediately determine whether or not they're allowed to keep it on their phone. So welcome. I'm glad that you decided to do this. I've been asking for a while, and you are apprehensive, so we should say that right up front, right Correct? Yeah. What is your apprehensions? Well, I know you've, you've told me that people don't.
I'm not. I'm not a public speaker. I don't, you know, I lose words. I can't think of what I want to say. I know exactly in my head what I want to say, and I can 15 or 20 minutes after the interview is over, I'll be able to, like, come up with it really quick. But right now, it's just, it's intimidating.
Yeah, that's why our arguments last for days, because we keep remembering things we wanted to know.
I'm pretty good on the spot at home. It's just in a situation like this, where I feel on the spot.
Okay, we'll start out with a pretty banal question here from a fan, Jan. The fan, Jan, okay, if you had $1 I love this question. If you had $1 for every time Jeff made you laugh since the day you met him, how rich would you be?
I guess maybe I could buy a Happy Meal. Yeah,
yeah, upgrade. You could upgrade,
upgrade to the large, large happy that's, I guess it's that's not true. No, $1 for every time. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, 100 maybe $50.50 Okay, well, that's like a laugh a year.
A laugh a week. Yeah, it was weeks in a year
This since we met. Oh, since we met. That's you asked the question.
Oh, 39 $39 a laugh a year. That's good, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's a stick in the eye, correct? And then while Duncan wrote, be honest, how long has it been since you genuinely laughed at one of my jokes? You were just out at the mule house? Yeah, I laughed. Yeah, you did.
I there's certain ones that I like that are my favorites, and other ones that just heard it before.
But I remember when, when we when we first met. What really made me laugh was when I was bombing silence and the only laugh in the room.
Remember when we were in Boston and kids were with us, and go whole whole dad's funny. And my kids, my two boys, were six and whatever go whole. Daddy is so funny. Yeah. So anyway, I we talked about this off air, but I believe this is the one thing I did ask permission for. I can call you a Trad wife, the TRad wife you were, and I can say this is your husband from for years, you used to almost apologize for that role when we got around professional women. But I can, as someone who traveled to know that the house was in great order. Is it, it was important? And you can, you can certainly feel free to unload on me. I was not really a home person. I was kind of messing Yeah, you
know, it was different when we first got married, probably in the first 20 years of our marriage, but this last 19 or 20 years, it's been really different. As far as you know, pride and ownership, you know, as far as your part of it, you know, I don't know. I can say now, I can I wear that traditional wife moniker proudly. What I you know, there was a time in the 80s and the 90s when women whose only accomplishment was caring for the children and, you know, making house and and cooking that that was frowned upon, that you weren't a complete woman unless you were able to, I don't know, abandon your children and childcare. And you know that? I mean that in a nice way.
Anyways, well, we did do. I remember when Boston, when you initially you had, you had a job, and we had that daycare center, and I went to pick the kids up, and the whole staff was outside smoking cigarettes, and our infant was upstairs by himself in a crib, and they lost the bottle, right? Yeah. And so that was kind of when, I hope it was our decision that one of us had to stay home, right?
Yeah, no, I remember you saying that specifically, somebody has stay home. And my ability to go out and make money wasn't anywhere near as but, you know, I think it was valuable. You know, I don't know if our kids understood. I don't I know they didn't understand it, that I don't know if they understand it now, how, how, how much it, how important it was to their lives, right?
And you did have a career. I mean, you showed dogs on just about every weekend. Yes, for years you would, I'd take the kids with me, dozen dogs and head out. You worked your tail off to have that, because that started as a child, right?
Yeah, my parents bred and owned and showed boxers, and it was just kind of a family business, and it was the, that's all I did as a child, was go to dog shows. And then as a young adult, it was just an, you know, the next position for me to go into was to continue it. And I didn't really do a lot of breeding, but I showed dogs professionally. So that meant, you know, clients, and, you know, taking dogs to dog shows and
and you were good at it, because I think the holy grail for a dog handler is to just be hired by one person to handle their their dogs exclusively. And you were offered that job, and I remember when you came to me, yeah. And I thought, Wow, what a what a blessing that is for you. And you said to me, I think that if I'm wrong, correct me. But you don't know one marriage that survived.
I now I know marriages that have survived that kind of lifestyle, but it's difficult. I i. It's very difficult. I know relationships you know that have that that definitely just crashed and burned, but I know of a couple that have definitely survived where not both in the relationship are actually showing dogs. Yeah. Does that make sense? What I just said, Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. So there are success stories, but not a lot,
not a lot. Yeah, yeah, I know so, but we I
opted not to do that because it just that isn't what I wanted. As far as you know, I wanted to make our I didn't want the possibility of our marriage not working
Yeah, that's a good choice on more than one level.
Well, time isn't up yet, so we'll see.
All right, let's get this one out of the way for once and for all, will you verify the fact that you drew a smiley face on my bald dome?
Yeah, it's not made up. Yep, I did it. And right, yeah, and you didn't. You didn't know until the kids came home and said, Geez, dad.
No, I did it. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm asked now so publicly you can answer this question, What in the hell went through your mind before you did that to me? You know that ink could have soaked into my head?
Yeah, probably did. That's probably an explanation. The permanent inks soaked into your brain and it made your hair fall out. Right? My hair is gone. Lydia, love that part. The um, yeah, so what? I don't know, it was just a silly streak, yeah.
I said, Go find the Sharpie. No, the sharpies are, are always around, because that, you know, he signs things with Sharpies, and so it was just, I don't know he was sitting in his chair.
What part of the devil? What? What part of that voice spoke to you that you needed to do, that I want to kills me is because I have the inability to do something like that. Not laugh the whole time. I'm doing it well, but see, okay, remember, you were stroking me like nice and teasing me, which I should have, should have been a red flag
for me so. But remember back in the day when they had Kroger's, I think it was Kroger's, had to call Santa Claus, where Santa Claus could call you. And so I would do that to my parents over and over and over again, like she
was sitting the kitchen half a bottle of wine. I hear her just cackling, and I'd hear her just doing the whole thing. And I said, What were you doing? She goes, I'm having Santa Claus. Call my father. Oh, Mike, and it's so funny because I did it for my dad, and he immediately called me, Hey, did you just have Santa Claus call me? What the hell would you do that for? Her dad never called and said, you know, did you have Santa Claus? Call me? No, no, yeah. And she just thought that was a funny
well, and I did it over and over and over and over and over and over.
Hey, my sled needs a mechanic. Mike, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. So yeah, it's
just a little, I don't know, warped sense of humor, little streak.
yes, you would do all right, here we go. Is it easy loving a comedian? I imagine it's fun at times, but also lonely when he's on the road. What? What's that balance really like? That's an interesting question, because there are people who watch this that have probably one spouse who travels. Those are
probably the same people that say, I bet you it's so much fun. Bet you laugh all the time living with a comic. And no, that's not anyways. So you know, there's the comics that I know. Sometimes they can be very dark and have you know that side of them, and that side is there often, and sometimes it's very difficult. Yeah, right, and you're not the kind of comic that feels or desires to be on all the time, that would be exhausting, but you know, you're not on when you're home, that's for sure. And you don't really like try jokes out on me. Sometimes we riff about things, and I tell you to write it down. But other than that, you know, I. Yeah, I don't even remember what the question was.
Well, it's just this isn't lonely in the balance
when you're away, yeah, sometimes it does get lonely because it's just me, right? And the dogs and the dog, since our other dog died, but the and the grandkids live far away, and you know, so I've just tried to fill my days or fill my week with things and but, yeah, it can be lonely.
Yeah, you're one of the busiest people I know. Of course, all I know are comics, and we're not busy people, yeah? But like today, well, we're leaving here, and you're headed off to a ministry that you that you got going at the church right, called prayerfully made. Prayerfully made. Explain what that is
Well, we make prayer shawls and baby Loveys. Prayer shawls are for people that are ill or in hospice, members of our church, and so it's a group of gals, men are welcome if they want, but a group of gals, probably 10 or 12 of us, that get together every two weeks and sit around and we try not to gossip. But there's,
in a Christian loving way, sometimes
there's a little bit of gossip, but, you know, and it's just, I'll know, we just sit around and talk and and do our craft. And what is that craft? My craft is crochet, but there's people there that knit, and there's people there that that quilt and embroider and and so then, between all of us, we can put something together. And then when it's completed, not that it's only worked on there at the church, but we take it home and also work on them. And then when we're finished, then we pray over them. And our pastor, Pastor Jeff Boyette. He is the the pastor that goes to the to their homes or to hospital and prayers and ministers to these people, prays and ministers to these people, and distributes what we've made. And then the baby loves are for the newborn babies.
Yeah, what's a baby lovey? Is it a little blanket?
Or no, it's like this. I don't know. It's this little
that explains it, right there?
No, it's this little thing. It's like a squid. It's like a It's not, it's not a washcloth, but it's like a crocheted or knitted washcloth that has a head on it, and then they tie the arms and the legs, so then the babies, like, suck on them and stuff. Oh, okay. And I guess I don't come up with the name lovey, but that's what they're called.
So we'll answer this one for me, because you seem to get you make the correction. I'm not going to say that you get defensive, but you make the correction. When people say, Oh, you knit. What's the difference between knitting and
people think that, okay, knitting is two sticks and crocheting is a hook.
That's it, yeah. Well, thanks for clearing you know, wow. I'm sure we'll get some comments on that from the knitters. They probably think
that there's different stitches. There's more to it, but it that's like the start.
Well, you do elaborate things. I've watched you my my favorite thing, but you and I differ in so many ways. But the the unraveling of row after row after row after row, like a week of work that you've done, and I look at you and what are you doing? Oh, I missed the stitch, like seven days. And I go, Well, who would know? And you said I would know, right?
Because I'm a perfectionist, and like I've told some of the gals at our little groups, I have a superpower, and it's over complicating things. So that's what I do. Yeah, no, I it's just, you know, I would know.
Well, God makes people to see the blemishes in the world, and I think you're one of them. I think you your eye goes to,
it's, it's a blessing.
Yeah, I've often said that if you went to the louver, and if one picture was slightly askew, it would ruin the entire experience. I'm sure it's they have people.
I'm sure they do have people, and they're they're asleep
How could they miss that crooked picture? Right? All right. Back to the questions here. Oh, this is very good. I like this one. Everyone. Everyone knows my testimony. It's been pretty public, right, right? So when did first, when did things first begin stirring inside you for the Lord? Was it a moment or a slow unfolding over time? That's a good question. Yeah. Okay, so I was, because I've often I get, I get asked that a
lot I know and you have given my testimony. Monique, yeah, we had a problem with that.
And, yeah, we were on a Gaither cruise, and I shared the part of her story, and we get to the cabin, and every married couple knows what I'm about to say. It was a tad quiet in what should have been a relatively festive we just finished a night of worship, and right? And anyway, when it came down to it, you had said, Look, if you're going to share my testimony, at least get it right. So I did go on stage the next night. I apologize to the audience and say to them that I learned something that if you want to know tammy's story, ask Tammy. So, right? We're asking kind of, now,
kind of, kind of the half, half testimonies,
yeah, but the, you know, because we can go back to Arizona when I first, right,
but I can go back to, you know, I've always known, I've never questioned that there was a God. I never questioned that there, that Jesus, you know, you know, was born and died and raised, and I never questioned any of that, but I just kind of through my parents demonstration of faith, I kind of stepped away from it. And it's not that I stopped knowing or believing. I just kind of stepped away, and it's not that I turned my back on, but I just wasn't practicing.
And we, you know, people know how you came to know the Lord, and it was kind of a slowly unfolding, because I knew hypocrisy, and I knew all the stuff that I grew up with, and I saw the Sunday morning examples, and then I saw the Monday morning realities, and what I think probably I was worried that that would be the same demonstration provided by you, and that wasn't, you know, that was a slow unfolding. It wasn't an overnight automatic, you know, turn the page change. It was a slow a slow difference, a slow and and, you know, there have been so many times in our marriage that you had said, I promise, I won't I, I'll never, you know, those kind of things. And it still was, it still happened, and not necessarily with your relationship with Jesus, but with other things in our marriage. And so it was just, it was a slow unfolding. And so then, by your demonstration and your leadership, it was just something that re sparked that knowledge and the faith, yeah?
And then the, if you want to talk about it, the diagnosis, right?
Well, that was that, you know, that was, it wasn't like a light going off and, oh, my God, you know I know Jesus, but you know Jesus, I knew that Jesus was in the room when the ladies laid hands and prayed for me, and I said to you that when we got back to the cafeteria, or Wherever
that was during a Gaither Homecoming taping right, and the matriarch of the group, Vestal
right, and and Dottie Rambo. And Dottie Rambo
asked if they could pray over you, which for us. And I think you'll vouch for this. We rather repressed northern Christian. We are, yeah, so hands get about this high.
We don't raise hands. We're not those. We're not We're not there. And it's just, I don't know it's
Yeah, so I mean, again, I understand it, because I was, I was there, and I remember when they asked the permission, and you were bald from chemo, right? And, and so we go back to our room after they prayed, laid hands on you and prayed on you,
and I said, I'm healed. Yeah, I know that. I know that Jesus was in that room, and I know I am healed.
This is will not be fatal, right? Yeah, that's a powerful statement to make, I mean, and but that's, that's an internal, existential thing that most believers throughout their walk with Christ will have those moments in their life, and it just solidifies your belief. But I don't know if you want to go deeper into the diagnosis. I The. This discovery of the lump. I think it's important
that's, I don't know if we want to, you know, if you want to talk about that, that's, you know, it was almost 30 years ago. I'm a walking, I guess, a miracle. It, you know, I there's family members of mine that didn't survive the diagnosis, and we carry the BROCA gene, and it was, we didn't know that when I was first diagnosed. And, you know, it's a scary, you know, triple negative, it's pretty scary.
Pre menopausal in my 30s, it was just a scary thing. You know, you were the one that wanted statistics and insisted talking to the oncologist, you know, what's the chances? What are the percentages? What's all that? And the doctor looked at me, he goes, Are you gonna live? Are you gonna die? He says, there's no expiration date on the bottom of your foot. And you tell me, what are you gonna do? And I said, Well, I'm gonna live. He goes, Well, that's it. He goes, there's people that come in here and have barely any sort of diagnosis, and are dead in six months. Then there's other people that are stage three or stage four and 95% you know, fatality rate. And who's to say that you're not the 5% so, right? It's kind of and I had kids, and I had a husband, I had all this stuff going on that I needed to like, and grand babies you hadn't met, right? So, yeah, well, our kids were still like, and you just retired
your oncologist, yeah,
what you call them? Doctor? Oh, it's a dreamboat. Dr Murphy, oh, he's a, he's a handsome man. Yeah, I always looked forward to my appointments.
Yeah, I remember that because it was such an antithesis of the surgeon, right? Who was this cold heart. I mean, you really was and, and then you walk into this guy, and I used to just look at the doctor, and how many times he looked at his watch. Not this because you had, I know, well, that was the point. You had a whole list of questions. You How many times did you read? Susan loves book. Did you read
much, right? Yeah. But then the funny thing is, this new guy, dr, we won't say his name, and so he walks into the into the room. So my old guy retired, and my new guy, young guy from, well, you don't even need to say that, but he walks into the room with, like, the cart, like attached to his front end, with the with the computer screen in front of him, and he says, I need but first words out of his mouth. I need to tell you that everything that's spoken in this room is being recorded. And at that point, I said to him, so I guess talking dirty is kind of out of the question. And he didn't even, he didn't even like, yeah, there was nothing. I thought, This is gonna be horrible.
Yeah, that's not good. Yeah. We need to. We need to start looking for a new one. Now. We'll interview him and
fight once, once a year. It's not like, it's that big a deal. Well, we're inviting him for dinner
Well, that's like, you know, you told me, if you go first, because we've had these at our age, we have these discussions and who goes first and what the rules are, everyone has pillow talk. Well, let's talk. Up, yeah, kiss, kiss, if you die, first kiss, kiss, by the rules are I have to take your ashes and put them in the backseat on every date that I have
And I realized, no, not in the backseat. They've got to be in the front. Well, I've realized, well,
I'm going to put you in the back. But I realized that when I date, if I date after you're gone, and the girl asks, who's that, or what's that, and I go, that's my wife, Tammy. She insisted that she comes on every date with me, the first one that laughs, I know at least has a chance with me. If they get creeped out and run out of the car, they're not my they're not my type. Yeah, they're not your type. I don't do I have rules. I don't know. I want to, I want to. I want a grave site. I don't necessarily have to be in there. I mean, you can take my ashes and put them in an Amazon box and throw them down
there. We have lots of Amazon boxes
People take a picture. Let them know I've been delivered, you know, but I wanted something where you can come and sit and talk to me right at a chair in crochet, like in the movies, like at home, because that'll say a whole lot while you're crocheting at home, right?
No, you can. I'll bury you down the street at the the cemetery down the street
there's cemetery down the street, just walking distance. Yeah, and take you down there. Okay, we can buy a plot if you want. I don't know. It's up to you. I don't know. I haven't really
talked much. I just know that if, if you go first, I got to take your ashes around and I promise you, I will, okay, yeah, I promise that. Well, that's took a turn, didn't it? She's writing a shotgun
Yeah, you got to sit in the back.
I'm not sitting in the back. I don't know
I'm gonna, I can't do that, but I'm being straight up in public. I'm not gonna lie
I could be in the center console
I could do it's not
like there's the full bench seats anymore. It's always bucket seats. Actually be in the center console
Put your ashes in a bobble head.
It's just being that in the in the center console, okay, baby,
you're incredibly talented. I can say that everything you you you do, you do well, right? Or you don't do it. Which leads me to this question, because, again, that brain, what is your problem with making pasta? Because you do everything so well, and even our son
makes fresh Well, I think I don't know I need to. First of all, I feel like I'm always on a diet, so pasta is not something that I want to learn how to make the bread machine, yeah? So, um, yeah, I've been intimidated, and I have no excuse, really.
I have all the stuff. I have the thing that you like hang the post on. I have the I have all the stuff. And it's just, I know they haven't done it. I have the receipts, right?
Baking, crocheting, repurposing you did being my gosh, you know, this early in our marriage, we didn't have and again, this goes to pride of ownership, where I was obviously really late coming. I mean, if it wasn't for you, any place I ever lived in would have been condemned from lack of or from neglect. But you used to buy furniture at the Goodwill, the goodwill and comfort shops, right? Sanded and reupholster things, do all the stuff, yeah. And then my favorite one was the hardwood floor in Arizona, where I came home from the road and what was carpet was now hardwood, right? And I remember saying, you're on your own. It was, Don't look for me. It for any help and you go, why would I?
I actually did inlaid, like, inlaid oak with, yeah, it was something, yeah, and sand in it, right? Sanded it all from
a class at Home Depot. Well, yeah, this before YouTube, right, yeah, yeah, that's impressive, right? I know you did crown molding drywall, you would have exception to the joke I make about your crown molding. You clear cut a third of the rainfall. No, I didn't at 399 a foot, but I will say this, I was there when the contractor came in on the one of the first big remodels we did. And he looked at the crown molding and said, who did it? And I said, my wife, Tammy. And he looked at his master carpenter and said, she does better work than you. It had to be a proud moment in your life. Yes, it was. I know that was create repurposing, creating beauty out of simple things. Look at how beautiful I am,
yeah, I know work
A lot of work. So funny too, because the grandchildren, I know they think you're hard on them, because they come pretty messy when they get to our house, their nails have dirt. I know what dirt and the fingernails does to you, so she's always trimming their nails and stuff, and then always on.
Lydia, you know, you gotta, you gotta wash your hair, sweetheart. You gotta. It's okay to wear grunge clothing, but you can't have Bo that's the big thing in our houses, the kids, they come with the Bo, and I did get spicy, that's what they are. And I talked Caden to lift his arms at Publix, right? Because the door won't open if you got Bo. And so every time we go to but, yeah, that's a big thing. So creating the beauty out of it. But it is. It's important grooming, and they need to learn that. So the question is, when did that love of art begin for you? You've always been creative. You go back to you. Most people don't know this. You were a baton twirling major at like, one of those double and flip them and. Spins right? Yeah, I'm already getting excited. I wish I can get you still have it finally, yeah, we need to take a break. But it was funny. I again, I this is something I didn't know you were baton Trotter till we got into an argument with the baton. Where did this come from? I used to spin them
marching band. You making me cry? Laugh cry
when you see those, those girls that do that, I told fire, yeah, twirled fire and again to throw them away in the air and do the spins and catch them right? It takes a lot of coordination and a lot of work and
used to twirl in competitions,
and I can't get you to put a golf club in your hand and take a swing at that. Yeah, I know you did try. Okay, I did, yeah, and then she feigned a sun allergy, yeah, to get out of it,
yeah, faking those welts all over me was really hard, or
did you did? This isn't this is something you've had from since childhood. So it didn't just kind of come about because I was on the road all the time when you were bored out of your mind. You've always been creative and crafty, right? Yeah, my favorite thing that you did that you've stopped, but you were passionate about was the calligraphy. I know you love that calligraphy, calligraphy, calligraphy in the basement for hours. I mean, the thought of doing I was doing I would rather get stabbed in the eye with an ice pick than calligraphy, but you, you were good at it. And I think was, it's just another hill you climbed. And just said, Yeah, okay, yeah, I learned it. And so there's no, there was no aspiration to take it beyond it, because I said all the golf tournaments should be a
traveling golf tournament calligraphy
They use calligraphy for the scoreboards. And you could have done that. I could have made almost seven bucks a week. I know it's a big call for that.
You know, I had a joke. I had a joke this morning. I want to share it right now. And this is gonna, this is gonna make you laugh. I know it will. Yeah, because you crochet so much, you get yarn from all over the world, correct? I do the house. So I spin yarns so you can buy yarn. Oh, yeah. Come on, that's got to make it to the clip. That's like, so that's gotta make it to the clip. It's really bad yarn spinner so she can buy, yeah. Oh, here's a tough one. This is going to be, this is going to be a hard one, okay, all right, Jeff. Jeff has shared, this is from Tim, not Grable, our agent, but another Tim, there's more than one. Jeff has shared that you once had one foot out the door and the other on a banana peel, what ultimately made you stay
I think that that was in the early, I don't know, the time gets kind of mushed together as far as where we were in our marriage at that point. To me, I break it into geography. I know we were in Arizona at that point, and Arizona was the beginning of the god journey, as far as for you, and I don't know if that was the it all overlapped, because the art we were really struggling marriage wise, when you know you did acknowledge your your faith, or, you know, I don't know how you want to say it, but anyways, so you know, I think ultimately I knew that a divorce, getting divorced, was wrong, that you know we had a covenant Marriage, and that we made promises to each other, and, yeah, it was just, you know, we were on our way to the divorce court, to the have the paper signed. And then I said, No, this is wrong. I don't want to do that. Yeah.
Do you think that maybe there was something inside you from the Holy Spirit, from God that just said
well, that the fact that we had a covenant marriage, we stood in front of God and everybody we knew and and made vows, you know
Did you at least see that I was trying to change? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was that slow roll, as far as getting there, yeah, yeah, I saw it,
yeah, the three steps forward, two steps back, right?
And so the two steps back, that was the part where, you know, I promised, babe, I'll change, you know, for the last the 20 years before that, or the 15, it wasn't 20. So like the 10 years before that, you know, I promised babe, that was the last time it'll ever happen, and then it would happen again and again and again. And so then it was just difficult to take the words of, I promise you know that you would say to me, this is different. I'm a changed man. I it was difficult to to to to absorb that and actually know that it's the truth until you know you can that speaking but actions, there's a big difference, right?
How long did it take you to talk me out of raising the kids Buddhist? Yeah, that was speaking of Yeah? Well, I read almost nine minutes I know of Buddhism, right? Nine pages of a Buddhist book. I had a reason. I thought that because I was so angry, and my brother and father were so angry
No, I understood. I understood the underlying that it was just yeah, that's gonna happen. That's not gonna happen, probably, like five minutes like that. I said, Yeah, right,
it's not gonna happen, right? All right, well, I took a shot. Oh, this one is on the breast cancer, so mammograms are important. Oh, right, yeah, okay. And then for women who keep putting them off, and talk a little bit about the Barack one, I know this is kind of jumping back and forth, but the Barack one, when you were diagnosed was just okay
So when we when I was diagnosed, my Dr Murphy, Dr dreamboat, said, why don't we do the the the genetic testing? And at that point, it was unknown. First of all, you know, you're self employed. We've always had to have self employed insurance, and we didn't know the fact that we, if we, because we weren't in this big What's that called, like a big group, a big group, yeah, that whether we, if I pause, tested positive, that we would still, if I would still be insurable. First of all, it wasn't known at that point.
There were no laws on the books there since have been like in 1990 something, the laws came on the books that they can't discriminate against people insurance wise, health insurance Wise, who test positive for any of the genetic testing. They can discriminate against people that test positive genetic testing for life insurance, believe it or not. And so that needs to be changed. But so and then also, again, at that point, the genetic testing cost $6,000 Do you remember that? I remember that, yeah. And so we definitely didn't have the money for that. And so we just kind of stepped back and said, yeah, good, whatever. And although knowing at that point that my grandmother, my mother's mother and my father's mother, my mother's mother had died in her 50s of breast cancer, and my mother, my dad's mom, was in her 90s when she died, and we knew that at that point, but we just didn't anyways.
And then my sister Tony, it goes Tammy Tom, Tony, Tiffany, and so she's, like, three years younger than I am, and she had been having a lot of she had dense breasts with a lot of, like, fibers, but yeah, some things and and she was constantly having to go for biopsies, and her doctor suggested that she do the genetic testing, and she had good insurance, and it didn't, I don't know how much it cost, but anyway, so she had the testing, and she came back Broca positive. And so then at that point, I took the test to my oncologist.
He said, Well, we kind of figured at that point you were so young, and, you know, all the things that you probably were, and so we went ahead and did it at that point, and because my sister or an immediate family member had tested positive, then through the genetic count, genetic testing count, you know, whatever Doctor counsel, it was much reduced, and so we were able to afford it. At that point. Did the testing, it came back positive, and then my brother tested. My brother didn't test initially, his daughter, who was 31 years old, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Daughter, and ultimately died of breast cancer with an eight year old daughter. And then my brother, ultimately, at that point, tested and he, of course, had the gene. I have the gene. My sister Tony has a gene. My sister Tiffany does not have the gene, okay, and both of our boys are tested positive.
Our granddaughters are 5050, right? Yeah. And explain what the Barack Obama gene is. How they discovered it goes to wasn't through a pocket of jewel.
I don't know. I thought it was there it is, but for me to like, there's going to be some person out there that's going to know and say, Oh no, that's not the way. Or it's, it's okay, we'll delete their comment. No, it's just, it's, it is what it is, and, and so, you know, I don't know. I'm not a proponent of, you know, I guess just go and whatever your doctor tells you to do, yeah, yeah.
And anyway, self exams are very important. Here's one, as we look forward to the next 10 years, the chapter of getting really old together. What are you dreaming of? What he Oh, this is kind of nice. What are your dreams? What are you hoping for, and what do you look forward to in our life ahead?
My first dream is that there's some sort of medical device that will remove the hair on my face.
A person has to have dreams, yeah, yeah. Well, the electrolysis doesn't hold. I, but it's so funny.
The electrolysis does hold. It's just such a long process. It's the laser doesn't do jack, yeah, and so, yeah, I have
to so funny since, since you started dealing with this, because I the spring. Explain that spring, you don't, I don't see it anymore. Oh, it's there. You I
use it occasionally
like traps and, no, it's
just, it's a spring, and you kind of just spin it on your face, and it grabs the hair and it pulls it right out
the magic spring. It is magic. How much was that? How, by the way, oh, it's probably $8 I don't know. At ACE, it's probably 35 cents.
Well, it's got, it's a pretty tightly want. Well, it can get a door hinge.
It comes down to, they rename things, they reap, they repurpose things, and it becomes more expensive anyway. So that's it. Question you've been dealing with all that and talking about it so much stage and women go, yeah. Well, I noticed. I noticed there was two people, I told you at Publix the other day was kind of creepy, and they were probably in their 80s, like swapping movie kisses.
And when she turned around and looked at me, she had a mustache, and it was, yeah, people were kind you heard it behind me. You know it was it, believe me, there's nothing wrong with public displays of infections, as long as people are attractive. Well, it's not even that. It's just, how far do you want to go? Nobody wants to you know, I get then again. You know, no, they loved each other. Years ago, I remember walking with my mother in downtown Chicago, and some guy was urinating against the bank building. And I thought, Well, maybe he had a bad loan, but he looked like he might be homeless. But anyway, I thought my mother would be, you know, because you're standing there and this guy's out in all his glory. My mother, she was so dry, she just looked at me and said, Well, I guess if you got to go. You got to go. So not bothered at all by the fact that the guys all of his glory,
but asked me the question again. I had us
10 years from now, what do I see us traveling more together? We've talked about that you coming out on the road with me. More we have. We have one more dog at home, and dog sitters, reliable dog sitters are difficult to get. We've, we've had some issues, but traveling with me, I know you don't, you don't like the landing, going to the hotel, napping, doing the show, going back to the hotel, getting up at 430 in the morning. Yeah, it's flying napping, yeah, yeah. So you will hand pick. We're talking about some dates coming up that you might come with me to. Where are those dates? Green Bay in February. Green Bay in February. Gosh, who doesn't want to be there? It's a garden spot, yeah, but I know people would like to see you out on the road, if for no other reason than to
prove that you actually have a wife. That I have a wife,
somebody would be dumb enough to stick I. So it was so funny when Gaither would have these assistants work at my product table, and they were women, I would go, you know, everybody's gonna think you're Tammy. And they would get so indignant, well, I'm not. I go, Yeah, you and I know that. I'm just telling you, you know you're back here and you're working, you know, they might think you're you're her
well, and without mentioning the blondes name, who was on your website, on your web page for the longest time? Don't say your name anyways, for the longest time, or no, it wasn't long as just one person, one person picked you up at the airport 700 club, uh huh, and I was with you, right? And they go, they had a picture, right? And they're looking at this young, blonde, beautiful, slim, really, pretty girl, and they look at me and go, where's all, right? Where's your wife?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And who is this? Who's this? And they would not have allowed that, right? Oh, it's, it's my it's my niece, it's my chakra guru with a chakra guru. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, the next, hopefully 10 years, God will give us 10 years
that we hope so wonderful. The most important thing is just stay active and keep moving so that we aren't one of those 40 people sitting in wheelchairs.
That's why I started the whole wellness thing with the cold plunging. I You can say it. You're just not into that. No, I'm not. Yeah, I think she's gonna dab a little water on her arm, and that'll be her plunge for the day. But that's kind of why I always started working out years ago, and right? I saw the movie with my father.
I saw the movie with my mother too, right? And that's not good.
No, you used to, used to try to get her just to walk the end of the driveway, and she right, do it, you know? So, yeah, growing old is, is not an option. But how you, how you grow old is a choice, and so we hope the good Lord gives us 10 more years together.
I'm starting my first final farewell tour in March. Yeah, I keep reiterating the word first, because I've had more than one person come to me just out there in the world and go, you're quitting, and I'm going, No, well, it's my first final farewell. Elton John had, what eight? Yeah, I think he's still on final farewell tours. No, this is it. When I say that the title of the tour, no, I mean it. This is it. This is my final. It still won't be my last, because there will always come a time where you're going to look at me and go, when are you leaving? Yeah, really, and we do want to say this, one of the reasons I wanted to have you on this time of year was to be express our gratitude to the countless 1000s of fans out there who have given us a much better life, and how grateful I am to the people who who like and share and follow this little dog and pony thing I do, so
all the accolades you get on the road that's nice.
getting them at home, that's for sure. You mean you're not, ladies and gentlemen. Jeff Allen, every time you walk into the room, how's that?
Yeah, take out the trash, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, trim your nose hair. Yeah, poor thing. I just heard that the other day, you know, before you hit the road, you got to trim your nose hair. Yeah, yeah. She does keep an eye on me. She does cut my hair. What's left of it? You do cut it.
Someone's got to take care of you. Like, that's what I tell you all the time, is, if we've seen those men out and about in the wild where the nose hairs like coming way out of their nose and and it's and they're just their clothes are disheveled and dirty, and, you know, the poor thing, he doesn't have anybody to take care of them. And, yep, somebody's gonna take care of them.
And your dad lived with us. It was so funny to me, because at that age, 78 whatever he was, you know, you do become more infantile in your behavior and your habits, and you kind of threw a wrench into all of that infantile behavior and made them kind of man up and start walking and moving
right and, yeah, you talk about that in your show, but there's a lot of truth in that. Yeah, 25 or 30, yeah, it was almost 40 pounds that he lost because it was just um, he shuffled everywhere he went, and he wasn't picking up his feet. Feet, and, you know, he was hunched over, and he was just used to it was Gunsmoke and ice cream. That's what it was. And that's not an exaggeration. He'd sit in his chair and he'd like, end up way down, like this. And every time I'd see him, I go, pop, you got to sit up, sit up, pop and make him sit up. And he'd just go and make him pull up his pants. And it was just, it was a
full time job, and he had a tough decision, because you're such a good cook, right? And that food was good. He wasn't getting that at home from
your mom had already died at that point, so it wasn't like he left mom and
for decades, he was right, yeah. Who knew what they ate? Because I know your mother, a lot of frozen Yeah.
Man, a lot of bologna sandwiches. And so then
those frozen dinners with the man with the congealed,
And then he, oh, I could talk about this, because you're here. This is funny to me. It was anyway, when he went and bought the he went out to get an oil change and came back with a $45,000 Ford Taurus
hydrogen tires. It was like it was a full display, the computer display on the on his, yeah, what is that his dashboard, and he couldn't figure out how to open his phone. So how's the how's the heck is he gonna like?
And it was, this is what really was the beginning of the end of him living with us, because you weren't as joyful about his purchases. He was the fact that he couldn't pay for it, that never even or the dealer's mind.
So I was out in the garden, remember? And then you came in out and you go, you're not you need to come in the house. You're not gonna believe this. And it was just, it was just bad. And the funny thing about it was my sister, yeah, had leather. Sees Tiffany, the baby, had it wasn't power of attorney, but she had control over all the and he, she's the one that gave him,
well, that was it, because you called the dealer and said, You took my brother
called my brother called and threatened to like, because in Ohio, I guess there's like laws that you you have, like, 48 hours to be able to return something, and we tried to return it within like, four hours, and the dealership in Dixon at Ford dealership, and Dixon refused to take it
back, right? And I remember you saying he took advantage of an old man. And they go, who's Tiffany? Yeah, and that was it, Tiffany. Tiffany the baby, gave the dealer all of his financial information and permission, right? And basically she signed off on it, yeah. And anyway, that was kind of the beginning of the end. He said, I kind of like the well, he likes living with the baby, with the baby, because he could sit and watch Gunsmoke and eat ice cream all day.
Yeah, no, it's gonna get all over him, yeah, yeah,
but she took care of him. So she did. She really did. She was very funny. Her sisters was a marketing person for large companies, for a large marketing company, and then became a real estate agent.
Well, she was in advertising, and advertising? Yeah, she oversaw it.
But your parents would call her when your mother would have a diabetic fit, and she'd go, I'm not a doctor, call the ambulance. Yeah, so we started calling her Dr TIFF, you know, because when you that's so funny to me, I can't imagine my children calling me if they have a medical emergency, I just can't.
No, actually, us, calling them, them, calling my son and saying mom's laying on the bathroom floor. I can't get her up. I can't wake her up. What should I do? Can you come over and help? No, actually, call the ambulance. Halloween.
The ambulance anyway. Thank you again for just the wonderful 2025, and I can't thank you enough for looking at the calendar this year. I believe it's going to be my busiest year. And I do promise, and you promise here live, but you will be out on some dates, a handful of dates this year.
I'll go to Hawaii and I'll go to the good places. Yeah, you do have go to Green Bay in February. Yeah? Well, maybe we'll see it matters on Brinkley,
yeah, our dog, but, and it's full. It's the ticket sales are up, and I can't be more grateful. I got some new material, and we're making a taping in Casper Wyoming at the Rialto in March. Will probably be my last, certainly full length video that I'm going to shoot and. And really going to pour into this. We want you to send out your favorite routines, because I'm going to put in the top 10 favorites in that course of that hour, hour and 15 minute tape, we're going to revisit some old, old material and get that down.
I want my grandkids to be able to see kind of what their Papa did for a living when they get old enough to actually laugh at it. Lydia, when she when she came out to see me last February, she goes, Papa, you're not funny. And I go, Thank you. Glad my demo is not 11. That would have been an indictment, but anyway, we'll see you out on the road, folks. God bless you. And Nordic wave. Jeff, 150 cold plunge, I'm telling you, if your body hurts after lifting cold plunging is the way to go, along with infrared lighting and then red lighting. Again, we're doing this wellness campaign so that we can be around a lot longer and keep our minds sharp and our bodies in the best shape they can possibly be. And God bless you for for for being here. Thank you. You.